Good Afternoon World!
First, the disclaimer. I am a real person, and this is my real blog. However for the purpose of protecting people from the truth, at least until I'm ready, I have changed all the names that will be included in this blog. That includes mine.
Secondly, the reason for the secretness.
I am openly Bi. EVERYONE knows. Not everyone is happy about this. My Mother for example, is certain I am still going through a phase. In honesty, she is probably right. Being Bisexual was a phase. I am in fact a Lesbian.
This is a problem really, as I do have a long term boyfriend. He is the kind of man that makes me wish I was straight. He is perfect for a bloke, kind, conciderate, funny, good looking, strong, a good listener... If he didn't have a penis, I'd be over the moon. We've been together just under a year, and although I do love him, I don't love him in the way I should. I think of him as more of a best friend who I occasionally have to have sex with.
Now I am experienced with women, having had more than one long term relationship with them. I never really got over my Ex, and she still has a very big part of my heart. The other part is held by my best friend, who I absolutely adore.
She's not interested in me in the slightest and it kills me. But, I am still there for her, every day. It tears my heart out, it really does.
So, join me, and if you think you can, advise me, as I struggle through the next few months of finding the courage to dump my boyfriend, dealing with the feelings I have for my best friend, coping with my Ex girlfriend having a baby, and dealing with my families reaction to my being a Lesbian.
Sounds fun eh?
Kit x x x x
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2 comments:
I'm 39, told my mum I way gay when I was 15 ... she STILL thinks it is a phase!!
Join our team fulltime *wink*
Hey there.
Ah...the "phase."
Perfectly undermining and condescending, but at the same time, a perfect excuse for those who just don't have the strength to accept you.
Keep in mind, ALWAYS, that it's not your problem if others can't accept you. I understand that it's hard to think that way--hell, I've been out for almost 2.5 years and I still don't think that way all the time--but it will bring you peace of mind. The people around you have a choice to make: they can push aside their judgments and accept you, or live in constant denial. Unfortunately, you can't aide them in that choice. Fortunately, you don't have to bear the burden of it. It takes strength to love somebody for who they are, and it's utter weakness not to.
I'll be tuning in to your blog regularly. I came out when I was 15 and I'm 17 now, so sometimes I feel like I got off easily. I'm looking forward to reading your experiences.
Keep well,
Lauren
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